Even if a divorce ends without any major hiccups, the day after can hit you like a truck or an epic hangover.
It’s often a mix of emotions you never knew existed or didn’t expect to be on the receiving end of. Anger, joy, heartbreak, anxiety – if the feeling has a name, chances are you’re going to have a front-row seat to experience it. It’s not all bad, and what’s awesome about it is that it’s over easy because nothing lasts forever. The period after your divorce hangover is when the real work begins. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel, but you ARE going to reinvent yourself.
Here are a few tips on how to upgrade yourself to version 2.0 after a divorce
1. Breathe
Your life post-divorce will be a roller coaster of emotional turmoil, even if it was you who wanted it in the first place. A marriage will feel like a loss, whether you like it or not. You were happy and had high expectations before tying the knot, but unfortunately, things didn’t work out. Self-doubt will creep in, and you’ll start to question yourself.
Stop and take a deep breath. Give yourself time to adjust to the new norm, because this is your new normal. Life after a divorce is a process of mourning and acceptance. If you feel overwhelmed with everything that’s going on around you, stop what you’re doing, close your eyes and breathe. It is time to reinvent yourself.
2. Always Move Forward
After a divorce, you should keep moving forward. Your past can teach you a few things, but it can be a toxic place. If you keep looking back, you’re bound to keep repeating the same mistakes because your subconscious will follow a pattern. Today is what’s important. Not yesterday and not even tomorrow because there’s no guarantee it’ll come.
The past will always be a part of who you, but it’s a burden that doesn’t define who you are. Leave your history behind as fast as possible and live in the moment. Never allow your past to hold you prisoner and don’t carry around the excess baggage wherever you go.
3. Embrace Freedom
Getting divorced after a long marriage will feel like getting out of jail. Enjoy your newfound freedom! There are no shackles anymore, and no one is holding you back from living the life you want to live. Do all the things you used to love doing, but couldn’t anymore because your ex wanted to do something else.
You can also do all the things you’ve always wanted to do. Start by creating as many new experiences as possible. Take a road trip, skydive, move to another country – the sky’s the limit! Don’t rush into another relationship post-haste, though. Thirty million people are living alone in this country. Enjoy the freedom of being single.
4. Rediscover Your Old Self
Now is the best time to burrow deep into your life and peel back the other “versions” of you that formed throughout the years. A divorce is like a second chance of sorts, and what better way to approach it than to be the best version of you! Try to rediscover the old you or the real you, the one that got buried under clones trying to be someone you’re not. Once you’ve found a version you like, tweak it a little bit and say hello to a brand-new world.
5. Shake Things Up
If you ever wanted to sport a particular haircut or adopt a different look, now is the perfect time to do it. Making a not-too radical change in your appearance can shake things up. These include changes to your clothing, hairstyle, accessories, makeup, and even weight. Go all out and lose (or gain) a few pounds for a total transformation.
6. Update Your Looks and Stay Healthy
If you feel you’ve been neglecting yourself for the past few years, that all changes after a divorce. Go to the salon for a little pampering or your favourite barbershop for a killer cut and shave. If you’re underweight or overweight, find a nutritionist and finally nail down a diet that works for you. Go to the gym and hit the weights to pack on some muscle or try other exercises such as running, Crossfit and yoga.
Set attainable goals to reinvent yourself, especially when it comes to your weight and waistline. It’s over easy if you’re willing to commit to a program and a diet plan that can help add muscle or blast a little fat. You can also add activities such as walking and hiking if you love the outdoors. Give your old buddies a call and plays some pick-up basketball. Looking and feeling healthy contributes a lot to your reinvention efforts.
7. Reconnect with Your Old Friends
It’s understandable to spend the bulk of your time with your husband/wife and kids during the marriage. The unfortunate side effect of having no time for your friends is that you drift apart from each other. Now that you’re divorced, you have time to catch up and reconnect with your friends at your own pace.
8. Refresh Your Wardrobe
Feel more confident about yourself by investing in new clothes. Check out what your current wardrobe looks like, and add a few items that can help you reinvent yourself and stand out in a crowd. If everything you own seems a bit dated or screams “Sunday church”, head to the nearest mall for a fashion intervention. You can give your most fashionable friend a ring and ask him/her to tag along for an extra set of eyes.
9. Take a Much-Needed Break
A little “me” time can do wonders for you after a divorce. Although there are plenty of things to consider, such as your children and finances, some alone time can be refreshing. The divorce process can be stressful and emotional, even though it’s over easy. Taking a vacation can help ease your mind, soothe your soul, put things in perspective, and keep you grounded.
Getting a divorce is not the end of it. It’s a chance to reinvent yourself and start fresh with a blank slate.
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